Step 1
I was reading an article in Forum magazine "Detachment Empowered my Personal Growth."
The author was answering the question "Have I accepted that alcoholism is a disease?" And then the second part of the question asked "How does that change how I deal with a drinker?"
I was reminded of going to visit my wife in rehab. The facility was a half hour from my office in Tempe, AZ and I tried to get by a couple of times a week and on the weekends (as well as for "Family Week").
Besides my wife, I had the amazing experience of seeing people of all ages arrive as shambling, slightly frightening wrecks, and with a day, a week, two weeks, a month of sobriety under their belts, they became distinct, warm and delightful human beings. I enjoyed the privilege of meeting them. It felt like a scene from the movie "Cocoon." (Boy, the butterfly analogies are just flying through my mind).
I really can't look at a drunk anymore without seeing a true human being inside wanting freedom, but not knowing where to turn.
After rehab, some returned to their old friends, families, drugs, alcohol, death.... But a fortunate few grasped their new found freedom and are still out there today, just doing the best they can.
How do I deal with a drinker now? With compassion.