Originally Posted by
kanamit 
I'm conscious of the fact I still don't fully feel like a lifelong non-drinker and I think it's making me vulnerable.
Kanamit,
A question: Is it you that doesn't feel like a lifelong non-drinker or IT (your Beast)? Let the Beast count time and worry about forever. You just worry about the only time that you can possibly abstain, which is
right now, as in
"I never now drink."
Something to ponder.