My AH's family had noticed I had changed (become "cool") towards him long before they knew he was alcoholic. When they found out about the alcoholism, some said that explained my attitude and some figured my attitude caused it. Today, pretty much all of them think he would stop drinking if I would just be "warmer" and more supportive. Blech!
I can totally relate to that post wellnowwhat. When I first started dating (ah-hem, rescued) my Abf everyone in his family thought I was such a wonderful, nice girl. OF COURSE I was, I was now supporting this dead-beat that they had put up with for the past decade including his mom paying his rent after he had to escape to another state due to od'ing on H. They found a sucker (ME) who didn't know about his past but saw something different in ABF that really never was there. NOW, that I am up to par on how much of an a-hole ABF is and how much he loves him some alcohol and call him and his enabling family out on it, they think I am an evil b*&$^. I 'should' try to coddle him some more and be 'supportive' of his choices (drinking daily) and someday (2 years, 10 years) he will 'get it' and make the 'right choices' for me and his son. 'Being positive' will help more than nagging, etc. I agree with the last sentiment except the only one I can be positive about at this point is for me and my son.
A's SUCK!