My ABF says he doesn't have a drinking problem because "it's only beer".
Or how about, I only had "three beers" I don't understand why you are upset
(Yeah, but they are 32 oz. bottles)
or, "I don't drink EVERY day"
(Excuse the hell out of me, you have managed to be sober about 2 weeks in 2 years).
All I can say is STBXBF!