"paranoid that he is drinking or stealing drinks"
ask yourself this. does your paronoia and worry change what he is or is not going to do? My guess would be no.
"I've been struggling with this and it's destroying me and my friendships. When I am out without AH I feel worried and on edge, knowing that him going out is going to result into him getting drunk. The thought of him drinking makes me sick to my stomach for some unknown reason"
I used to feel the same way. I have learned that many of relationships suffered, not because of AH's drinking, but because of how I behaived and reacted to his drinking.
Alcholics drink, it is what they do. They do not drink at you or because of you. Nothing you do,say, think or feel will cause them to choose to drink or not to drink.
The only thing that has helped me in the above areas is ALanon. Try a meeting. If you decide to try it I hope you find the love, understanding and courage that I have found.