I have to agree with Tuffgirl, you go to al-anon to start your own recovery. As for your A, you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. So you might as well work on yourself.
I had been reading and posting here for a couple of months before I decided to go so I had an idea of what to expect. I went to 5 or 6 meetings until I found the 2 that I now attend. I too wanted the peace and serenity that I saw there in some of the people there.
What you will find is a bunch of people who know what you are going through and who understand in a way that no one else will.
I can't say that I have achieved serenity but I am centered and happy and enjoying life again.
Your friend,