Sadly there is an ocean of ignorance about alcoholism and many of us have had others judge us based on their own misconceptions and the manipulations of the A. Recruiting supporters to influence me to take him back was embarrassing and so I have had some experience in this regard as I have had practice!
I simply tell the person questioning my alleged abandonment of the A with the statement that my X like the rest of us was given opportunities and choices and it had been agreed upon by both of us on what would be our plan if he relapsed. I didn't leave him for drinking I left him because he refused to honor his commitment to treat his alcoholism and deal with a possible relapse.
His choice to drink had consequences that he was well aware of as my boundaries had already been well established and were not negotiable.
I can report that after 4 years of active recovery that included several relapses that my hardline no contact dumping on his head was exactly what my and his HP ordered. He drank like a fish for a few weeks in isolation and broke up with alcohol for good. I see and feel a profound change in him... a peace and serenity... always before there was a sense that he was getting sober because "he had too" and deep down he didn't want to give up the booze despite being abstinent for periods up to a year.
Now... he KNOWS that he knows that he never wants to drink again. He is joyful and happy and he is actively staying spiritually fit every day and staying connected with others in recovery.
I am happy for him but I am NOT jumping back into the currently cool frying pan. I do allow him to wine and dine me on dates and I am keeping my own residence. It will be a very long time before I consider a relationship with an A... even one that I love dearly.
So... thats the skinny on my A and wish I had dumped his on his head 4 years ago... he needed to work this out on his own with his HP. It saved his life when I let go and let God.