Wow, ACTIONpack. I feel the need reiterate what others have already said: whatever you've been doing, please do a whole lot more. It sounds like you are spiraling down at a terrifying pace. The next person you meet on craigslist might be the one who kills you... assuming the alcohol doesn't do the job first.
You can escape this. Anyone can. Proof of that is everywhere on this site. Do more—and please do it tomorrow.