anvilhead - thanks for your message, that makes so much sense and i know everything you say is right. I think deep down i know it, and maybe im in denial myself .....i used to be so confident and strong, but i now feel like ive lost confidence in my judgement and ability to think clearly and make decisions. I always feel guilt,or worry that im doing the wrong thing and i dont know why as i know deep down that it is not my fault .although for a long time was made to feel that all of it was my fault. His family also blamed me for his problems and said i contributed to him getting worse because i left him. ... He took the overdose after i left him, luckily i spoke to him that night and knew something was going to happen so i contacted his family and they went round and found him just in time. He also started drinking more when i left him, so they blame me for that. If i leave, and he gets worse or takes another overdose, i dont know how i would live with the guilt, my daughter having an ill father/no father. Its hard because i do love him, but i dont like the person he is when he is drinking.
i know you cannot tell me what to do, but do you/does anyone else think or have they, given their loved one an ultimatum....as in, if you dont attend aa meetings i will leave, or if you have any more 'slip ups' i will leave, i really dont know what the right thing to do is. When do i actually say enough is enough? i am so confused.