Originally Posted by
failedtaper 
There is a tendency for newly declared non-drinkers to think that everybody else gives a hoot about whether you are drinking or not.
The truth of the matter is that NO ONE CARES except you. If they act like they do care, their concern is actually about their OWN drinking behavior compared to yours, as it is often a challenge to their own thoughts about sobriety.
For me, I was quite surprised at how many non-drinkers there were, everywhere I went. I thought I'd be the odd man/woman out, and I wasn't. There are non-drinkers EVERYWHERE, and the only ones who seem to mention it are the ones for whom not drinking is still a form of activism.
I would examine the reasons you go to a pub. If it is to drink, why are you there? If it is to meet your friends, eventually they'll know you are not a drinker any more, if that is your intention. Why do you have to state a reason? In all the years I've been a non-drinker, I have NEVER ONCE had to explain it to anyone except people who know me intimately.
I think the reason not to tell anyone about your Big Plan is that it makes a big deal out of simple self-declaration of self-recovery. Self recovery is self empowerment that needs no declaration to or validation from others.
Having said that, that same self empowerment should not be easily threatened by any challenge, either from within or from others.
FT
I generally agree with you that we can make a big deal of it when actually most people don't care. It matters less so once people have had their first few drinks and they're then inebriated.
I'm thinking ahead particularly to the Christmas period and a short holiday I am going on with a few friends in the New Year. These things always center around drinking but I am going for the social reasons (which is why I have been at the pub)—and to get away from work. While most people do not care I do know that I will get asked early on in the holiday why I am the only one not drinking. Coming from a culture where drinking is so heavily engrained you can be regarding as somewhat of a pariah for not partaking.
I've been a non-drinker before (but without a Big Plan) and it's quite interesting to see how uncomfortable some people can get when there are only two of you and they have to drink alone.
I know this is something I should work out for myself and is not within the scope of AVRT. I was just wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation.