Originally Posted by lilybart

I recently starting talking to my ex again, who is in recovery, because he said wanted to try to be friends-and I hoped that he was really starting to become a good person and we could salvage some semblance of a relationship. And what I found was that he is just as cruel and hurtful and selfish sober as he was an addict, he just doesn't have anything to blame it on. He seems to revel in making fun of people and holding in contempt everything about them. His superority issues have only become bigger now that he thinks he is better than everyone because he isn't using. In the few conversations we have had in the last two weeks, he belittled EVERYTHING about me, from the fact that I drink casually without it being a problem, to my political beliefs, to the way I look. When I told him that I was still having a hard time getting past some of the things he did to me, his exact response was "boo hoo. I like whores. I f***ked a lot of them when we were together. A LOT. I don't know why you are taking it personally, I would have done it to any girl I was with, it wasn't you in particular. And it's not my fault you have such insecurities about not being able to hold my interest." Needless to say, I am not talking to him at all anymore, and deleted every trace of him from my life. He already has a new girlfriend, and he told me it's just a matter of time before he begins to destroy her too. Lucky girl. So anyway, I guess we do love the addict for what they once were or what we know they could be-but I think sometimes, like in my case, we are looking for something in them that isn't even there to begin with. The things I saw in my ex that I was attracted to and loved were just part of his games-he was never really that person at all.