Originally Posted by
bayliss 
I don't want to die from it. I feel ashamed of it.
But yet again, here I am with Mr. Red...
Life is stressful, but it always will be.
I love being sober...well, no, I lie...I don't love it...but it feels good the next morning...ONLY the next morning...for me..for now.
Life isn't nearly so stressful now that I am no longer a raging alcoholic.
I was thinking of a question for you but you answered it yourself. For the longest time I wanted to stop being an alcoholic. Wanted to not die from it. But I didn't want to live without alcohol either!
I LOVED to drink and I didn't love not drinking. I couldn't sober up until I tipped that balance.