Such a good thread. I understand the struggle. My stbxah shows up for lots of the girls activities, sports, etc. I believe he does this as a way of convincing himself he is fine, he doesn't have a problem. Not realizing that showing up for an hour long game does not erase the alcoholism. But I digress...
I sent soccer website and coaches name so I would not need to keep communicating every detail. Yet on first rainy Saturday I got text "is game cancelled?" I felt same as you do. Why am I the gatekeeper of this info? You are an adult.!! You can check the website same as I had to. I do not have special "sober parent super powers". I'm a busy mom of five, a full time RN, handling home and bills on my own. You are unemployed & living on your own. Find the f-ing soccer info yourself and leave me alone to do the real hands on parenting. All u need to do is show up for random activities---figure it out. I don't have the luxury of a personal secretary, why do you?
Sorry, guess this was hot button topic! Lol bitter much?
I also provide the basics: schedules, coaches names, websites. The rest is up to him. I did too much for way too long. I still do. I am definitely partly to blame. I went right along w/ these behaviors for years. Taking on all the responsibility. No more. I will be the mother. He will be the father. The kids will be ok no matter what. They have one strong, loving, sober parent. And that's good. You are lucky- your kids have the same!!! Hugs...