First time out on a date again - REJECTED
I am a little more than 6 months away from my alcoholic husband. I thought I was strong enough to try a date with someone. There was a person I worked with and I could feel an attraction. After awhile, I decided I would let him ask me out. He did, then promptly canceled it with a ******** story about how he wouldn't be able to stay in touch with me either.
That hurts. When I was with my husband, I just felt so nasty all the time. Anxiety when I would walk up to the house, bloated and poorly dressed when I would go out to work, stifled when I would meet new people because I had this terrible secret. I guess I was really starting to feel strong enough that I might be attractive enough to go on a date.
Now that I was rejected I wonder if I am just not that high on the totem pole. I think about all of my relationships and I feel like I haven't ever felt what it's like to have someone in my life that thinks I'm really sexy and cool. And then there's the feeling, I might not be sexy or cool. Do I gross people out?