Hi Felixa and congrats on the new baby!
Your post about statistics of baby health with drinking mothers gave me pause. Although I have been reading here for a few years, I (finally) registered to respond to that - for you, and any others who may be reading.
Drinking while pregnant is bad mojo and not something to toss the dice on.
For years, I wondered if I had a problem with alcohol. A co-worker was sharing a story with me that really set those concerns into high gear about how damaging alcohol is to the body. He didn't even know I drank (I was a nights only, private party-for-one home drinker) - that wasn't his point.
At the time of this conversation, he and his wife were in process of adopting their 3rd child, while their 2nd was still in the neo-natal ICU. They partnered with an adoption agency that specialized in placing children of drug users with adoptive homes. Their first child was born to a meth addict, second to a crack mother and the one they were working to finalize was a crack baby as well. At one point in the conversation, alcohol use/abuse came up and I was chocked at what I heard. While crack/meth/heroin babies are born in a very fragile state (many need intensive care in the beginning), the success rate is tremendous in recovery. Not so with children of drinkers. Alcohol syndrome (FES) is not something that they can treat that the baby 'gets over' - babies born with an alcohol impairment live with this for the rest of their lives.
For this reason, alcoholic/drinking mothers had to be screened out by the adoption agency - and because he and his wife were already raising 2 needs children, no child of an alcohol abusing mother would be allowed for consideration for adoption. (Obviously because this is a lot to handle, but also because it would/could take valuable time away from the other children). This was an adoption agency rule, not my co-worker's choice.
Prior to this conversation, I knew alcohol was poison, but never had a clue that it could EVER be more damaging to the body than street drugs. Its legal and all that, right?
Well, it was a wakeup call to me, and hopefully will be a wakeup call to you.
I implore you... Do not mess around with this. Do whatever it takes to keep the booze out of your system while you are carrying this child. FES is not a legacy you need to leave them to deal with for the rest of their lives.
Good luck.