I feel we fall in love with the person that we first met, the person they made us think they were... We don't actually find out who they truly are until they have us webbed in, then we discover they are not what they betrayed them-selves in the begining, if that makes sense. So from that point on we are in love with what we want and need them to be in which Alcoholics cannot and will not be that, they are who they are, nothing more, nothing less... So that's when we as individuals have to decide do I want to live the rest of my life like this.
I feel you are in the right direction, for me I had to cut off all contact with him and for your own sanity you will most likely have to do the same, I know it hurts, but eventually that hurt will ease.. Hugs to you.