Marie and KittyCopes - Thank you!! I'm really glad you felt something from my post. I love to write, it's how I feel I express myself the best. My posts and comments tend to be rather long and drawn out sometimes, lol, it's my nature.
Trapeze, absolutely! There is rarely one path one can take to get to a destination. I would love to hear some techniques that you discovered work for you if you feel like sharing.
I have researched forgiveness for a few years now, and for me, this therapy of connecting emotion to the one who hurt me has definitely been the key feature in helping me to let go of some anger.
They actually say that until we can really forgive others, we have to learn to forgive ourselves. It is often the hardest part.
Tuffgirl, Thank you so much! Psych is my major, and they offer a combo M.S./Doctorate program which I am considering applying to when I finish this portion.
I actually had a discussion with my professor the other day and may even be able to develop under guidance a research program re: adult abandonment. I love that these courses help me to heal myself, and it is so important that I use each one of them to look inward to develop a greater understanding of my own motivations, but most importantly how to control and direct them. I can't expect to be a completely effected therapist if I can't do the hard work myself.
I truly do feel that some of what I said from my A is how he feels. But I know I will never know for sure what goes on in his mind. I know that he has many issues in his life too (obviously) and I know he feels pain and loss, and I use that to offer empathy.
I realized that it is the appropriate amount of empathy that matters too.... I had TOO MUCH empathy for quite some time, this made it possible for him to treat me how he wanted to, and I would still be there. I took his pain into account always, and almost used empathy as an excuse to stay wrapped up in an unhealthy situation.
It is also applying empathy the right way. For me using it as a measure to heal myself is far better than using it as a measure not want to hurt him.
I'm very happy you got something out of this. That is my favorite part about posting my thoughts