Tuffgirl,
The best divorce advice I received came from my older brother, and I still remember his words:
" You are about to enter into a legal business transaction. Cut the emotion, do not act or react based on emotion. When decisions are made based on emotion, you loose. A judge is only interested in facts. That is how he does his job, and you damn well better
have your ducks in a row."
I was so very hurt by my brother's words, I thought you heartless
pr*ck. My world is crumbling and you are being the biggest insensitive jerk I know.
Well guess what ???? He was right. I have been divorced 13 years now. I did not listen to my know- it- all law professor brother. I could not separate the emotion from the facts. It took me seven long years to pay off our debt, why because I said "screw you, have it all, you aren't worth it."
Seven years without a real vacation, while he was golfing year round , five years without a new car, while he was sending women he hardly knew little turquoise boxes. And I had no one to blame but myself. I had to buy him out of my business, I just wanted to croak!!!!!!
In retrospect, I wish I would have been stronger, but I let my emotions get the best of me and I lost. Was it really, really worth it ? Hell no.
Just sharing my experience, I do understand where you are coming from. But it is always best to make decision with our heads, and not our heart............
Wishing you a beautiful new life, will keep you in my thoughts..........