dbh, thank you for your post.
My home is no longer chaotic and I need to accept how powerless I actually am.
While this might initially make me feel sad, frustrated, and scared. Hopefully over time, this acceptance will bring me peace and serenity.
My experience is somewhat different. Once I gave up the illusion of control I realized that I didn't give up anything really. I never had control, all I gave up was an illusion. I was then free to work on what I really had control over, my choices on how I react to what is going on around me and my attitudes. This was real power because it was something I really could control.
Also when I gave up the illusion of control I found that I gave up all that responsibility that I assumed that wasn't really mine to begin with. It was like having a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
As for coming back here I expect that I will for a long long time even though I am in a really good place right now. It just feels right.
Your friend,