There is nothing worse than a A who becomes a smug meeting maker instead of actually working a real program of recovery that roots out the exact type of selfish behavior that your are being subjected to... sigh.
Hope you are able to get some face time in Alanon as well as coming here to chat... it will help you deal with the upside down world and quacking.
The road is narrow to real recovery and few make it ... your A is skating around the edges instead of signing up with a sponsor who knows the drill and can take him through the steps and help him learn to be accountable to himself and to the program of recovery. If he is hanging out with others who are not dedicated and invested to serious introspective recovery he will stay like them... shallow and selfish.
It is hard, hard work for an A to change his spots ... if he ain't sweatin' he ain't growing and unless that starts happening nothing will change except his geography (physically being at meeting is NOT recovery)