You know what was really nice? This man and his wife's son's are a bit older than me but close-ish in age. And their sons, their wives and their kids are all just as amazing as the Dad was...
I'm still rebounding kind of from realizing that the fantasy life that AH has told me for years was unrealistic, that I was needy and clingy for wanting etc... is actually something that people DO have and that the people who have it are neither needy/neurotic/crazy etc...
I am usually able to sort through what I am thinking/feeling and put it into words kind of clearly but tonight I am just jumbled and confused but in a good sort of way...
Oh another thought... Instead of realizing that the life I want is realistic and one I deserve and feeling mad at AH, this is what I thought of: I can have the life I want and I will and he can continue to believe it's ridiculous that I want that and that's okay. And perhaps there are different marriage happiness standards for everyone and perhaps AH's desire for utter independence and no shared life is something that he'll find in someone else and that's okay too. I'm not going to judge the life he wants anymore. I am just embracing the idea that the life I want is one I am going to find and I'm not judging AH's life (trying not to). We are all different and maybe there are people out there like him who don't need there to be a close connection with their spouse (my sister happens to be one of these types) . So, maybe some of the problem (in addition to his addiction) has been that all along I've been wanting him to be more like me instead of just accepting that he is who he is and I am who I am and being okay moving in separate directions (apart that is).