Originally Posted by
cynical one 
A new broom sweeps clean. It's probably a fairly new relationship where he's on his best behavior while he reels her in. Most drunks and druggies can be so over-the-top charming, witty, and funny...for a little while. This is what I call the "pretend guy". The "pretend guy" is who we fall for. Then "real guy" emerges and we spend months, years, decades waiting and wanting the fantasy of who we thought they were, who we want them to be to return.
Hahaha, well said. I love "the pretend guy".
My exAH's girlfriend moved out. I like her a lot--she's good to my daughter, too, but we've talked and he's still the same when he's drunk as he was when he was drunk with me. She still sees him but she won't live with him anymore.