Originally Posted by
FreeingMyself 
The more I read posts and listen to others....I realize that many of the lines they use are the same!! Some I just read today - using the kids as pawns, it's your fault if you would have just been there for me....there are thosands more I have read here and think seriously some of us must have had a clone of anothers husband, because they are quoting each other. Peraps theres a forum somewhere they all go to and then they find out what the best blaming, guilty statements are and use those...seriously though the similarities between so many peoples storis are astounding to me. It has given me great comfort to know I am not alone, clarity to show that really it is them, and the strength to move forward, knowing others have face it before. I just wanted to say thanks to all who have shared here!
This is what struck me the first time I attended an Al-Anon meeting, right after I had the cops get my now-ex husband out of the house.
Everyone was talking about the EXACT SAME PERSON. Oh, they might have been male, female, old, young, mother, wife, husband, father, son, daughter...but we were all talking about exactly the same person. They said the same things, did the same things, treated us the same way.
It was a relief in a way. For years I had wondered why I couldn't get through: "Maybe if I say it THIS way, he'll understand what I mean..." and after that one meeting I knew it wasn't me.
It WAS me that allowed him to treat me the way he did, so I had to work on that part, of course!