Tuffgirl

That's basically what she did with me during the consult. We figured it would cost me more to retain her directly than I would ever see from him, mainly because he doesn't have much. If I got 1/2 the equity on his house, he couldn't pay me. I would only be able to put a lien on the property. If he assumed 1/2 any joint debt (the one card) that doesn't mean he would pay on it, and to protect my credit rating, I would of course be liable to continue paying. Since our retirements both didn't do well over the last few years, it would be a wash there - so that leaves me with really just getting a potential judgement with no potential for receiving anything monetary indefinitely.

So I offered to split the card debt and forget the rest of the money I've put down on his debt. Call that my loss. He countered with a smaller amount and said ti wasn't fair of him to pay anything on my debt, and me paying on his was fair because I was "living there" during that time. I had to remind him he was not my landlord nor did we have a rental agreement in place. We were married. Very juvenile way of looking at what's fair, I'd say!

Now - all that said, walking away, as Suki mentioned, may be the higher road here in the sense that it sends a loud and clear message that I simply want to get as far, far away as possible. and I know where to get an RO if he bothers me or my daughters again. I am leaning toward this, but am more than chapped at the idea that I get nothing for the money I put into it. But hey, big surprise, huh?!

Thanks for your input, folks!