10X - time to get up and take control of your life! Go color that head of yours, buy some new make up, a new outfit, get a pedicure, and a gym membership or a new daily exercise regimen. Meet your grief head on...yeah you can feel it...but don't be defeated by it!
I let myself cry when I feel sad, go out into the woods with my dogs and scream when I need to (don't want to scare my neighbors doing it in the back yard!), take a day off on occasion to just sit quietly and read or write in my journal, but I will NOT stop being me because some drunk a$$hole blew through my life and turned it upside down for a while.
Sometimes we have to do a little "tough love" with ourselves, too. Say "10X - enough of this! Go out and LIVE". It is the best revenge, right?
Go on...your life is waiting...and it has all the potential to be fantastic if you want it to be!
PS - alcoholics lie. It is what they do, and you have been around here long enough to know it is part of the addiction process. Expect it and you will never be caught by surprise. From now on - I know I will ALWAYS assume a lie. Too much past proof to not make that assumption anymore!