OhBoy, I know what you mean and wanting something to sort of knock you upside the head and tell you to take action. In my experience, that cosmic bitch-slap came from within suddenly one day, I reached my own bottom, and could not take one more intoxicated evening. I took action that day, it surprised me to some degree, but all in one fell swoop I was living alone. That has freed me up to work on the acceptance part, which I could not do when living with my drunken AH.
Hugs to you. Focus on being healthy and when the time is right, you will know what has to happen.