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Old 09-27-2011, 08:28 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
dancingnow
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 342
Alone I think it's great that your RAH is willing to go to the couples group with you and that he is the one that shared that info with you.

I bounce back and forth every day with having empathy for my RAH and getting angry and resentful that it is all about him for the most part with tiny little steps of recovery for our relationship.

After a little more than 6 months of recovery my RAH has crudely brought up the subject of sex and I told him there's so much more rebuilding of our relationship that I need before I will consider that.

Not to be mean, but we are living separately. There are tiny little changes, like just calling me and discussing difficult topics for more than 30 seconds and planning time for us to spend together. I feel like I was damaged so much with all the dishonesty that I often question the sincerity of RAH actions.

There were other issues regarding sex that I'd rather not go into detail, but it was like my AH was living a secret sexual fantasy life. In the back of my mind I am still not sure I believe what he says that it was the effects of alcohol. Since we are living apart I have no way of knowing it is no longer a part of his life as he recovers. Even when we were living together he hid it well.

One day at a time for me and focus on my recovery and accepting of the little steps right now as I am still wondering who the man I married really was or where he went.
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