Hi Ventura,
Thanks for posting, I could really relate to what you wrote. The fear intermingled with the shame. Good on you for making that call and arranging to get your equipment back.
I am really beginning to realize I have a real fear of people. I had never articulated this before and a lot of my actions were/are ruled by this fear. Being sober I can see this and am able to do something about it. Being aware of it is the first step.
You are going to love being sober. Do you have any support other than this forum?
Congrats on the 4 days.
All the best
CaiHong