Well, the part about the most he ever spent was $100.00 in a month drinking is most certainly a lie. Not a lie to you or the counselor, but still part of the denial. He is minimizing the damage. This isn't from trying to be deceptive, but just a natural reaction to protect himself from seeing how bad it really was. Hopefully, with time he will get more honest with himself.
The sex part I can't be much help with. I am a male and I have felt rejected at times when I was ready and she wasn't, but there is so much more involved that what the mere act of sex contains. My wife of 12 years now is not a very affectionate person at all. She also does not like to have sex as often, but is very enthusiastic when it happens, but still not affectionate. That is just the way things are.
We are all just different beings and if we choose to spend our life together that is something we have to accept. It is best if we see the differences from the beginning. In our case I don't think there have been any surprises for either one of us. In the end we all have to be just a little bit selfish and take care of our needs. If we don't we most certainly won't be happy with anyone else.