My husband has been sober for two months. Up until recently we hadn't had sex in three months. I feel very similar things - for years, I followed the same clock you did...have sex to avoid a disagreement, regardless of how I felt about it or him. Now, things are better, BUT I'm still not that interested. There is a lot of hurt there and I don't want things to be the way they were before. At the same time, I'm not quite sure how to get there. One thing I know for sure: if he keeps mentioning it, I'll never want to do it.
I wish you well - let me know if you have any magical insights.