Welcome Rocky- It is remarkable isn't it, the way they can't remember their promises, make themselves act like decent human beings (bc they believe they are only hurting themselves- yeah right) and yet they can zing like no one else I've ever met with their words and know JUST what to say and what weaknesses to prey upon to make us crumble.
My AH is nastier with his word than I can describe (though I suspect you know exactly what I'm describing) and he goes for the jugular everytime. I have a few big triggers I guess you'd call them-- things my abusive & mentally ill mother would say to me as a kid, that AH says and tells me my mother was right all along... And those things are the hardest.
I don't know that I'll ever get to a point where the words don't hurt- right now I am just working on not reacting. One friend told me that her T suggested that you do the opposite of what you are feeling in those moments. So when you want to crumble and bawl, fake as best you can a smile and try to not let him see how much it gets to you. I still don't know that I buy this as a good strategy but I figure I may as well try it since bawling and begging him to please stop being so mean has never worked. Better yet, I am limiting my face to face contact with him and not planning on giving him many more opportunities to say these things to me.
Hang in there. Glad you're here.