How did I ever let myself get to this place?
Hi All,
It is so weird to me when I have moments of clarity, because I think my thoughts are sick at least 90% of the time.
Over the past eight months I have been repeatedly lied to, manipualted, used, verabally and emotionally abused, cheated on ... and who is to blame? Alcoholic bf? No ... me.
I only blame myself for ever allowing someone to put me through what he has. I have been spoken to worse than I ever have before, my character has been put down to no end, I've been told I am a bad person, selfish, closed minded, lazy, mean, etc etc.
I am such a fool, holding on to the good times that I really should look at as a lie. He easily swept me off of my feet, something I guess anyone can do if they have had enough practice being a pathological liar.
Wouldn't being alone be much better than this? Why have I felt I would be losing something of value? I need to learn to take out the trash when it is obviously rancid and rotting and making me sick.