Originally Posted by
sugarbear1 
Get y our own attorney, don't say anything to her. If she's having the affair, maybe you can get her to pay for the entire divorce. Sorry.
This ^^^^ is spot on. Get your own affairs sorted. Let her sort her own. I'd say no more about it until the papers have been drawn out and you can hand them to her. Let the issue fade out if possible, but IMO you shouldn't try conversing about it. She betrayed you, not the other way around, and she doesn't get to crap all over you on top of that.... unless you let her. If you do it's a mistake on your part.
Take care of yourself now. Get your lawyers advice definitely, and seriously, at this point you are just giving her warning enough to do something more self destructive, possibly vindictive or spiteful towards you. She's knee deep in her addiction. Never a good idea to give an active addict the heads up on what you are doing about her transgressions.
IMO just hand her the papers, call one of her relatives and tell them she will likely need to be looked after, and then get as far away as possible. That situation is toxic, believe me I know. I'm going through a very similar thing right now.