I stayed "stuck" for so long because of my own issues... yet I didn't see it that way. I saw my AH as my captor. I saw fixing him as the solution. I had no clue why the hell I kept choosing to stay... like you I thought, WTF is wrong with me??!
Today, through the help of Al-anon, a sponsor, and counseling... I see WTF is wrong with me!!! Living with an active addict destroyed my mind, my self-worth... it weakened me. I learned very unhealthy coping mechanisms - that kept me accepting the unacceptable. Changing all that takes time - and A LOT of hard work.
So... when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired... maybe consider giving Al-anon a try? It really has helped me a ton.
Thanks for letting me share,
Shannon