Yes. For us it's our learned normal. After hoping for recovery for our AHs, and subsequent disappointment, we tell ourselves it's better not to hope and we want to know what the next disappointment is before it happens so we are ready for it. Unfortunately, I tend to prepare myself for any disappointment that could possibly happen anywhere anytime and then wonder why I'm not happy. Duh!
You have a lot of growth and recovery under your belt. You recognize this and have tools. You'll do fine!