It's that history that is so hard to get past. Scenes replay in ones head. Being a "single" parent for so long and being alone makes it hard to "get that luvin feeling back". I agree. Like yourself 25 years of trying to juggle marriage, life, kids and alcohol abuse does not make it easy. My husband will be home next week after 28 days. In honesty it has been nice not to have to worry about him and my teenage daughter and I have enjoyed just being with each other. She is as worried as I am about his transition home. I told her we have to move forward and give him a chance to get our trust back. It's all up to him. It's up to us be ourselves and do what is right for us.