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Old 09-18-2011, 05:12 AM
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wanttobehealthy
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
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Originally Posted by StarCat View Post
I remember the first time XABF did something very off-kilter like this...
We were on a date, he was driving, and there was a red light. A woman wearing shorts was crossing at the crosswalk, and XABF oogled her and shouted out, "Look at the legs on that fox!"
He was in the middle of further comments when I turned to him and said, "Excuse me?" To which he replied, "I'm sorry, I thought you were Tommy."

I don't know which bothered me worse, the words he said or the fact he claimed he was confused and thought that he was taking his friend he hadn't talked to in 10 years out to dinner instead of a date with me.
I wish I had the guts to do something about it back then, because it only went downhill from there.

Alcohol doesn't trigger me, but women wearing tight shorts and too-tall stiletto heels do, because that is what really hurt my self esteem. At least when he was drunk I could tell myself it was because he was drunk, but this behavior he did more often when he was sober...
I mean, seriously, what kind of a guy compares his girlfriends' legs to his daughters, implying that his daughter is "hot" and his girlfriend is "frumpy"? I wish I had the guts back then to acknowledge how creepy that is.
That's at the heart of what I think I found the most upsetting too. He did this both when drinking and when stone cold sober. And when he was drinking I could blame it on the lack of judgement from the alcohol, but over the past year it became more and more obvious that this was his character- drinking or not and having him sober, treating me like a piece of meat, telling me to "lighten up" (for not finding lewd behavior amusing as if I were a guy buddy) or telling me that women are so f'ing sensitive and no man would ever think his behavior was a problem (ummm, wrong!) ... well, seeing him turn into someone unrecognizable and frankly, a total dirtbag-- that just hurt deeply.
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