I remember the first time XABF did something very off-kilter like this...
We were on a date, he was driving, and there was a red light. A woman wearing shorts was crossing at the crosswalk, and XABF oogled her and shouted out, "Look at the legs on that fox!"
He was in the middle of further comments when I turned to him and said, "Excuse me?" To which he replied, "I'm sorry, I thought you were Tommy."
I don't know which bothered me worse, the words he said or the fact he claimed he was confused and thought that he was taking his friend he hadn't talked to in 10 years out to dinner instead of a date with me.
I wish I had the guts to do something about it back then, because it only went downhill from there.
Alcohol doesn't trigger me, but women wearing tight shorts and too-tall stiletto heels do, because that is what really hurt my self esteem. At least when he was drunk I could tell myself it was because he was drunk, but this behavior he did more often when he was sober...
I mean, seriously, what kind of a guy compares his girlfriends' legs to his daughters, implying that his daughter is "hot" and his girlfriend is "frumpy"? I wish I had the guts back then to acknowledge how creepy that is.