wanttobehealthy, there is a great series of books that you can probably get from the library. I have found it helpful to consider where each child is developmentally as I speak to them about our family situation with separation and an alcoholic spouse. It helps me support them in a way they can understand. Here is info and link to the one about 6 year olds. At 6 and 7, they are undergoing a fairly profound change in how they view themselves and their connection with their parents and the world. In Waldorf education, they view the "changing of the teeth" phase of age 6-7 as a pivotal time in their lives.
Amazon.com: Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant (9780440506744): Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg: Books The six-year-old is a complex child, entirely different from the five-year-old. Though many of the changes are for the good -- Six is growing more mature, more independent, more daring and adventurous -- this is not necessarily an easy time for the little girl or boy. Relationships with mothers are troubled -- most of the time Six adores mother, but whenever things go wrong, it's her fault. It used to be, at Five, that she was the center of the child's universe; now, the child is the center of his own universe.
You have an uphill road ahead of you. Arm yourself with as much information as possible. For me that helps me stay centered with regard to the kids. Hugs to you...