Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
I told her that sometimes when I say how I feel he gets mad, or when I tell him to speak to me differently he gets mad. She made a face and said "that's silly".
This little section right here, though, means that you are doing everything you can for your girls, and that they are learning this.
She can acknowledge that her father is being "silly" rather than holding him up as someone whose approval she requires at all costs.
It is heart breaking to see the effects that other people's insanities have upon younger children, especially when it's a parent of a young child.
It's quite apparent, though, that her other parent is paying attention, and that is a wonderful thing.
You are doing a good job.
Not only that, they know they are loved. <3