I've not been in your situation so I don't have any E, S & H to share. It sounds to me like you are thoughtfully and courageously working through a tough, tough situation.
I just wanted you to know that I'm here sending you all the good thoughts I can muster. I hope you can sneak away for a long, relaxing bath or whatever you do to collect your thoughts and renew your energy.
Thinking of you and your kids.