(((MTUSA))) - I agree with what (((StarCat))) wrote about talking about yourself. It was hearing that my family was going on without me, that had a big impact when I finally "got it". I hadn't been there when my stepsister gave birth to my nephew and both almost died. I hadn't been there when my stepmom's MIL (who I called "granny") died.
I've made sure I am there for stuff like that, now, though try not to get all codie. My cousin recently died (a month ago) from hepatitis he got while shooting up drugs almost 30 years ago. My dad and I were able to drive to CA and back, and be there for my aunt, uncles, g'ma, etc.
I am grateful for every day I have, and I try to make sure I make living amends whenever possible.
I also have heard about the shame and fear of having an addict child from my dad. It's a pain I wish I'd never put him through, but we are closer than we ever have been.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy