Wow, Tuffgirl, what you just wrote was almost verbatim the conversation I *just* had with my sponsor. We talked about the difference between stopping drinking and stopping drinking/working recovery... and that even *if* AH decides to stop drinking/work recovery... it will be a LONG time (possibly up to 5 years - if he makes it) before we could get to a place of working on our marriage.
I think she told me that to remind me that I'm on the right track... that nothing changes, if I don't start changing. If I don't stop accepting the unacceptable... I'll keep getting the unacceptable.
I need to stand up for me because I sure as hell don't see AH standing up for me.