I came across this today while filing some docs...I hadn't read it since June and had completely forgotten about it. This is a letter to future me, from past me:
Dear Future You,
This letter is to serve as a reminder of what will happen from this point forward.
1. You will NOT call him anymore. If he wants to spend time with you and you feel like it, he can call you and you can say yes. In the meantime, sit on your fingers and go live your own life. Do not feel guilty for going no contact, if you so choose. That is perfectly acceptable under the circumstances.
2. Do NOT need him. For anything. Everything is done. There is no future need from him for anything. Call your brother if you have computer issues. Call Dad if you need a handyman.
3. You will not confront him on your hurt feelings or your expectations. It is pointless and just serves to make him angry, giving him the very ammunition he needs to blame you for being conflictual.
4. You will not “guide” or “teach” him how to be a grown up. That is his lesson to learn. He can learn it on his own time.
5. You will accept the fact that he is ANGRY. REPEAT: ANGRY! Leave him alone with his anger. It is not yours – you do not own it – you cannot fix it.
6. You can disapprove of someone’s behavior without disapproving them of a person. There is a difference. Remember this.
7. You will NEVER again beg for some man’s crumbs of affection and interest. NEVER. REPEAT: NEVER! You will never stoop so low as to humiliate yourself in that fashion. You can do so much better than that.
8. You will honor your commitment and see this through to January 4, 2012. On that day, you are free to pursue an annulment. Hang in there – it will be worth it to say that you did - one year is nothing in comparison to the rest of your life and your self worth.
9. You will faithfully work your program. It is important to fix what is broken IN YOU now, so you don’t go make the same mistake again. Learn these lessons. You are here for a reason and this is it.
10. Read 1-9 repeatedly, especially when tempted to try to love the snake. Snakes bite. Remember this.
Love,
Me on this date May 14, 2011
Good advice from past me. I need to print this out and carry it around with me to read daily, along with Madea's advice.