(((Deb))) - when I was in jail, we didn't have phone cards, but dad let me call collect once a week (those collect calls from jail are expensive!!). Yes, he did put a little money on my books, I got junk food, paper, pencils, stamps...gave most of the food away to other girls who didn't have any.
Some would say that's enabling, and he had bailed me out the first time I got arrested (that's when he found out I was addicted to crack) but he told me he'd never bail me out again (it was $650) and he didn't.
I see nothing wrong with the occasional card, as long as you don't do it with the expectation that it will help him "get it". Those darned expectations are hard to let go of and that took me a while. I'd do something, thinking it was out of kindness then get all bent out of shape if they didn't respond the way I wanted them to.
I can assure he knows you love him. That was one thing I never had doubt of...the love of my family. However, it took me getting into recovery before I appreciated it, was grateful for it and didn't just take it for granted.
Hugs and prayers,
"I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer
"You got what it takes you can win, today is your day to begin. - Shania Twain
(Tinker, Elvis [RIP], Patches [RIP] and Mots - Mouth Of The South)