(((MTUSA))) - I'm a recovering addict, as well as a recovering codie. There was nothing anyone said or did that made me see what I was doing to myself and my life. I was quite content smoking crack 24/7, selling myself to support my habit.
I finally got locked up for longer than a day or two, and had enough clean time that I didn't want to go back to crack. I stayed clean, more or less, for about a year (yes, I dabbled), but I wasn't in recovery.
I relapsed for a couple of weeks, ended up back with the XABF#3 who also used, and when he said something about "so you lose your car, what's the big deal?" I realized I just couldn't do that any more. My car was the first thing I got that made me believe I really could get my life back together.
That was 4-1/2 years ago and I've been in recovery ever since. XABF#3 died a couple years ago.
I have an 18 year old niece, I love as much as if she were my own child. My dad and stepmom have raised her since her mom was killed in a car accident when niece was 1. I've seen her totally whacked out on liquor and anti-anxiety meds.
I've talked to her about MY recovery, where drinking/drugs will take you, but she moved out over a year ago and she doesn't want to hear it.
I can't stop her from the path she is choosing, though I sure wish I could. The "taking care of you" part comes in when I realize the best I can do is be a good example. I can't stop my dad from giving her money, can't make her get her GED, I can't make her do anything except let her learn from her consequences.
That's what led me to recovery...I got sick and tired of all the consequences. FWIW, XABF#3 went to a 2-year treatment, was locked up numerous times in county jails and prison. None of that phased him.
I pray that your son doesn't go back to the drugs, and that you can find some peace and serenity. There are a LOT of parents here who are going through or who have been through the same thing. I actually have a friend from here who lives down the road, and her son is in prison. I share my ES&H, answer any questions she has, but has her son hit his bottom? We don't know.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy