Stay strong. It does hurt and the future is scary enough without veiled threats about your kids and your competence as a mother. You are smart to realize he is doing what he can to protect his disease. Don't let his disease have any power over you and your kids.
You have great strength. I think I may have been fooled by his "loving" email. They say what we want to hear. Reading your posts have renewed my own resolve in letting go and detaching from the craziness. Thank you