Thanks MyGirlGracie, no, there has never been any attempt to confront the issue-except something along the lines of 'you are so controlling you would make anyone want to drink'
So now I have reached a point where I will not acknowledge it, I have learnt to walk away from it and think about my own life, scary because it could end up in a split-but that has to be preferable to a life of dreaful uncertainty about each new day.