I understand. I miss my guy lots and lots. I remember when my ex husband (not related issue to this at all) left me for another woman very suddenly. I literally went to work a happily married woman and came home to him moving out with her. I thought I would die. For two years I never even could look at another man after that much pain and I didn't date until three years after. I didn't die though. I'm in pain now over my AXBF but I know from past experience, I am unlikely to die from a broken heart. At least my AXBF left me for drugs and alcohol instead of another woman.... sigh.