Alone22- It is remarkable how Jekyl and Hyde he is and it's all the more remarkable that I've grown so accustomed to the complete turns from him from one person to another that I don't even see how dramatic it is anymore. It's probably just as well that I don't bc I think if I fully grasped (at least right now) just how crazy it's been and how I've chosen to live with it, I'd get totally overwhelmed.
LifeRecovery- I feel the same way as you-- I go looking for others ESH when I am most struggling and I always find just what I need. And, like you, I've lived with this words instead of actions BS for so many years and it feels good to finally be seeing it for what it is.
Soaring Spirts- Exactly what you said! In the time he spent manipulating and spewing words that are unlikely to be matched with action he could have talked to a sponsor, been to a meeting etc... But he makes the choices he does and either he'll figure it out someday or he'll have the miserable life he predicted in his own letter.
MsPINK- My AH is so so so caught up (and always has been and I used to find his grandiose talk charming) in talking, in words, in grand ideas of all the things he has planned... but dare suggest he come up with one small step he can take to move toward any of these ideas and he's got every reason in the world why ACTION is impossible. It's amazing how hindsight is so clear. Even when we were dating he was full of grand plans, ideas etc... and to this day not a one of them has materialized. Lots of words and thinking and NO action. Ugh. And frankly in a lot of ways I've been the same for many years with respect to my r/s with him. I've SAID I wouldn't tolerate his behavior for years but my actions have said otherwise. Finally, better late than never, I've figured out how to make my words and actions match.
NDBT- Yes, it's totally textbook and predictable and I fully expect the nastiness to come soon... Fun fun fun.